Surrounded, I feel suffocated
This murky bar, club, whatever you want to call it
People are packed in tight like canned mandarin oranges
But none of them will ever be as sweet
I see them all, and they stare back one by one
The hunger in their eyes
Thirsting to quench their loneliness
If only for a night
The music plays on
I don’t know how to be hungry
You see to that
You make me feel assembled
You make me feel full
I think about going home
Because crowded spaces make me nervous
And I don’t people well
Hello my name is Awkward
The music plays on
I don’t know how to be confident
But you open me up
You show me how to grow
You show me how to thrive
I think about drinking more
Because liquid courage is supposed to help, right?
My anxiety is noxious
Greetings from planet Getting Drunk
The music plays on
I check my phone once, twice, thrice
Maybe you got caught in traffic?
A pack of bros bump into me and I spill my drink
The big one shoves me
“Watch where you’re going Fag.”
My throat knots and I wince at the last word
My shirt is soaked and stained
My eyes lower and I turn to leave
The music changes
Suddenly big, hairy arms wrap around my wet torso
“Hey beautiful, where’s the fire?”
Your beard tickles my nose as you kiss me
A tear rolls down my cheek
I lean in and kiss you back
I stare into your eyes as you backpedal us onto the dance floor
I don’t know how to dance
You know all too well
You try to sway with me romantically
But I stumble and we laugh at my two left feet
This murky bar, club, whatever you want to call it
People are packed in tight like canned mandarin oranges
But none of them will ever be as sweet
I see them all, and they stare back one by one
The hunger in their eyes
Thirsting to quench their loneliness
If only for a night
The music plays on
I don’t know how to be hungry
You see to that
You make me feel assembled
You make me feel full
I think about going home
Because crowded spaces make me nervous
And I don’t people well
Hello my name is Awkward
The music plays on
I don’t know how to be confident
But you open me up
You show me how to grow
You show me how to thrive
I think about drinking more
Because liquid courage is supposed to help, right?
My anxiety is noxious
Greetings from planet Getting Drunk
The music plays on
I check my phone once, twice, thrice
Maybe you got caught in traffic?
A pack of bros bump into me and I spill my drink
The big one shoves me
“Watch where you’re going Fag.”
My throat knots and I wince at the last word
My shirt is soaked and stained
My eyes lower and I turn to leave
The music changes
Suddenly big, hairy arms wrap around my wet torso
“Hey beautiful, where’s the fire?”
Your beard tickles my nose as you kiss me
A tear rolls down my cheek
I lean in and kiss you back
I stare into your eyes as you backpedal us onto the dance floor
I don’t know how to dance
You know all too well
You try to sway with me romantically
But I stumble and we laugh at my two left feet
✱✱✱
| James is a die-hard nerd; he loves anime, video games, electronic music, and really cheesy 80's horror films. He lives his dreams of finding romance vicariously through his writing. He loves nothing more than spending a lazy Saturday afternoon playing with his two dogs, Dakota the German Shepherd and Diesel the Husky. If this universe existed in the world of Harry Potter, his patronus would be a bear cub. |
