calm by jordan upshaw

​Lately, I can wade into the ocean
without imagining drowning
 
I don’t consider the feeling
of opening my skin
with every sharp item I encounter
 
And I can hold a pen
without contemplating
ramming it deep into my skull
 
So now I’m not entirely sure
what to do with them
 
How do I write if
I’m not doing it
to keep the pen on paper
and out of my forehead?
 
I know my rage is still there,
I never have to fear losing it
 
But it’s resting for once
and I’m afraid
if I try to pluck a poem
from the blue-hot embers
I’ll wake up every flame

​✱✱✱

Jordan Upshaw never got over her childhood obsession with stories. If you tell her a good one, she won’t forget it, and odds are that she’ll write about it someday. Her fiction, memoir, and poetry can be found in The BK, Chivomengro, Cease, Cows, and others.